dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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