so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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