Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
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Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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