I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
COCAINE IS GR8
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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