Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
