We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
