im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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