Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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