yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
