they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
