You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
