last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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