Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
