it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
