is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Holy sore nipples Batman
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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