I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
