I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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