i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
