If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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