we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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