Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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