You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
