i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
