What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
