we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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