I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk