OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
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Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
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Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.