Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
