Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
