Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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