Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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