i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
