dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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