so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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