i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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