the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
