I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
