Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
