Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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