Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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