Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
