So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
