i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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