After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
