why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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