I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
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I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
In other news, I just burned my penis
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
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GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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