i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
