Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
And the cops told us we were all naked.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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