i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
