I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
