Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
