I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize