your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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