Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
