Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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