There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
