Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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