ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I am available for nakedness
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
